Campbell

What constitutes cognitive decline?

2010-06-18T07:04:00.003+10:00

My dear old Mum is heading down the path of dementia, although she hasn't been given that diagnosis, and won't until she has to enter the 'aged care system' in some way. That won't happen for a while I suspect while Dad, her loving, fit, healthy and younger husband, manages her care as well as he is able, which at the moment, is very well.
Lack of orientation to time is Mum's most obvious symptom of her cognitive decline. I dropped in on them on Wednesday after an exam (the second last for this course - yippeeeeeee!!!). I told them where I had been and Mum said: 'They have exams on a Sunday?' 'Today's not Sunday Mum', I replied, 'Today is......todaaaay is....' It took me a few moments to work it out. My first suggestion was Tuesday, before getting it right.
Hhhhhmmmm.....who has the problem??

Comfort in the seat if not on the road

2010-05-12T23:00:00.002+10:00

It was a hairy ride through the city to the station this morning. There's an area going down Elizabeth St towards Victoria St (for the locals), where the two left lanes, out of three, turn left into Victoria. I want to go straight ahead. I have two choices - one is to stick to the left and try and make my way across to the right most lane in the last few meters. The other choice is to get into the right lane from the previous set of lights and travel a block in that right lane. Generally speaking I prefer the second choice with cars both overtaking and undertaking me. So that's what I did this morning - it was the WRONG call. On the right of me was a truck, and I was conscious of not being run over by it, so rather than being in the middle of the two lanes, I was more to the left, which the car in that lane didn't like. So I had both the car driver and the truck driver abusing me - probably with justification, but it was a case of once I had made the decision I just had to ride it out (ha ha!) until I came to Victoria St.
After going straight ahead, I came to the next set of lights and was behind another cyclist who decided to try to get to the front by going in between the aforementioned truck and another car. That was ambitious and I could see her being stuck under the truck. In the end she got off her bike and walked around the car to the gutter. At the following set of lights, which was a right turn from the left lane we have here in Melbourne due to our trams, she felt a need to stop and abuse the driver of the car who was waiting to turn right in the left lane (don't know why). She stopped quite suddenly, causing me to have to swerve to avoid her!
I realise that this explanation is convoluted and probably doesn't make sense to anyone - but I just had to get it out there.
On the more comfortable side however, I bought a pair of padded bike shorts to assist my sore bum. They are the normal looking shorts with the padded inserts. I reckon they did make a difference. I think I am going to have to invest in riding gloves now as this morning my fingers nearly froze!!
There's a lot to this riding thing.

The Beautiful People

2010-04-29T21:19:00.003+10:00

What I have noticed as I ride through the city and travel more on public transport as I am this semester, is that I sight so many attractive people. Especially going through the city, I am struck by the handsomely suited man. Attracted though I am to exploring naked flesh, the right clothes on a man can also be extremely sensual.
As we move into the fresh autumnal temperatures that announce the approach of winter, the colour black, for which Melbourne is so renowned, is becoming more prominent.

Room Enough For All

2010-04-02T16:43:00.001+11:00

I'm getting into the groove of being a cyclist now with a regular couple of times a week on the road. It has heightened my awareness of the relationship between cyclists and motorists. There are the hardliners out there who think that either all cyclists are arrogant or all motorists are such. The truth is however that there are good and bad motorists and good and bad cyclists when it comes to sharing the road. What I hadn't bargained for however, is the relationship between cyclists and pedestrians. For some reason, a lot of pedestrians think they don't have to take cyclists into account on the road. When J-walking, most pedestrians will take into account cars that might be coming past them, but I'm amazed by the number of pedestrians who, when crossing the road at a place or time when they shouldn't be, think that cyclists should look out for them rather than the other way around. Having seen a collision between a pedestrian and a cyclist, the pedestrian is not going to come out of it well.
Surely we can all share.

The Day My Bum Went Psycho

2010-03-19T18:03:00.001+11:00

My bum hurts!

After three consecutive days of riding my bike, I'm feeling it most in my bum. I don't carry very much excess fat (although my midsection is beginning to give away my middle age status!), but I have always lamented the size of my rear end. I think that aesthetically it would be better if it was bigger, but it would also be more comfortable if it had more padding. I often find sitting on plastic chairs for long periods uncomfortable and I am now finding regular bike riding is also uncomfortable. I thought it might improve with more frequent riding, but no. I don't have any fat or muscle between my bones and the bike seat. I have invested in a good bike seat, so I can't improve that. I think I may have to invest in some proper bike shorts.

I must say that I am quite getting into bike riding, sore bum notwithstanding.

City Cycling

2010-03-13T08:30:00.003+11:00

As part of my fitness campaign I've decided that when I go to Uni by public transport, I will ride to Flinders St station and take the bike on the train, then ride from Frankston station to Uni. For those non-Melbournians, Flinders St station is the main station in Melbourne through which all suburban trains run. I live in West Brunswick just north of the city which is 5.5km from Flinders St. So we're not talking any long distance here. The main issue for this only-just-getting-into-cycling cyclist is the city traffic. I'm riding in peak hour, so the traffic is not moving quickly, but there is a lot of it. For those who know Melbourne I ride down Royal Parade, through the roundabout at the top of Elizabeth Street and then down Elizabeth Street to Flinders Street. I keep envisioning a car door opening on me and I keep having to change lanes in Elizabeth Street due to the right turn from left lanes we have in Melbourne because of the trams. So whilst it's not physically hard riding, I have to keep my wits about me.
Coming home I ride up Swanston Street to meet Royal Parade at the cemetery. I do this because whilst it's OK riding north to south through the Elizabeth Street roundabout (I just stick to the left), I won't ride south to north through it. It sometimes feels like a suicide mission in a car, let alone a bike! Coming home is more difficult as there is a slight gradient most of the way home, and it's the end of the day! Whilst it's not far, hopefully a couple of times a week will see me finding it easier sooner.
I can't believe how many cyclists there are in the city. They are all dressed in different ways, everything from the full lycra to full business suits, some women riding in skirts and high heels! It was a good feeling to be a part of this phenomenon.
I think I'm going to a spin class tomorrow morning, That may well create a whole different feeling!

A Rude Picture of Health

2010-03-03T07:32:00.003+11:00

I went to my local doctor for my results last week and they are surprisingly good. My cholesterol and glucose readings are very good. My stress test showed a remarkably in shape heart. I'm functioning at 135% according to the Bruce Protocol, which basically means my cardiovascular system is younger than the rest of me!! Maybe I don't need to worry about this whole exercise thing after all.......only kidding!!!

So I now need to get into some routine. The academic year started here this week (yay!! my last year!!) so by the end of this week I will know my weekly routine and so will attempt to place exercise into it. Despite saying I want to do this without joining a gym, I might succumb to 'spin classes'. A friend wants to do them and is looking for someone to join her, so I shouldn't pass up the opportunity to exercise with someone else, as this is the way I'm more likely to stick with it. It won't be joining a gym as such, just using some of their facilities.

I'm back at yoga as well, with last night being my second consecutive week, so I'm trying to vary my exercise - not that yoga has that much of an affect on the cardiovascular system.

So maybe I'm using this planning and preparation as an excuse for not really getting into it in a major way, but I reckon I'm more likely to stick at it this way.

Time will tell!

2010-02-16T16:23:00.002+11:00

Well I had my exercise echocardiogram yesterday. I only lasted 14 mins on the treadmill which was increasing with speed and gradient every three mins. My heart rate got up to 190 by the end and my blood pressure was 165/80. I then watched while they did an ultrasound of my heart. To use a cliché it was awesome to see, similar to seeing an ultrasound of an unborn baby. The brief report from the cardiologist was that my heart was looking good, but he will send a full report to my local doctor. What wasn't looking so good afterwards was my front. The technician made patterns by shaving some hairs for the electrodes to connect properly. I had to do some manscaping when I got home to make myself respectable, although I did a rough job of it. .........but I digress!

So I now feel more motivated to go ahead and start my exercising with intensity. Today I went for a run before work and I only worked half a day so had a swim on the way home!

So I've done some research and I reckon I need to exercise while maintaining a HR of about 150-160. This is just what I got off the internet so who knows how accurate it is, but it makes sense. It sounds like it is my resting heart rate that tells me how fit I am. I need to try and remember to take that when I wake up tomorrow. They say the most accurate time of obtaining a resting HR is just after you've woken and while still in bed. Son gave me a heart rate monitor for Christmas, so I'll be able to check my HR whilst exercising.

I feel like I've begun and i'm also feeling very positive about it. It's a project which hopefully will become a habit before I lose interest!

Stay tuned.

A Change of Tack

2010-02-14T12:27:00.005+11:00

I'm sure I'll be writing this post just for myself as my one or two loyal readers will have long gone by now, and in a way that's all I need to be doing.

Back in December son's team finally won a tennis grandfinal. We were having a celebratory BBQ at the club and your's truly went on to the tennis court for about 5 mins. At the end of that brief period my heart was pounding. To be expected - I'm not the fittest person on the face of the earth. What I did find surprising and a little scary was that 20 mins later, my heart was still pounding! This was a bit of a wake up call to do something about my lack of fitness. I've never been big into fitness. I'm not a sporty kinda guy and I have an aversion to gyms, so don't have an outlet for fitness. This hasn't been particularly concerning for me over the years, although I've always known myself to be unfit. I've been fortunate that I don't have a problem with my weight, so that's never been a trigger to do something about my fitness. My leanness is purely due to my genes, not due to my 'watching' it. I do however have cardiovascular issues in my genes, so this is another reason to attend to my fitness.

All this is a backdrop to saying that 2010 is this year of getting fit. I've decided to use this blog as a bit of a motivator. By putting it out there into cyberspace, even if it is not read by a single soul, I have committed myself to something and the hope is that that will provide some motivation for me.

If possible I want to do this without the use of a gym, so am planning on using a combination of cycling, walking and swimming.

Being a man who can now no longer say he is in his early 40's but has to admit to being in his mid 40s, I thought I should get a medical check, so I went to my local doctor last week. He took my BP which was 'perfect' and took blood for a cholesterol test. He has also sent me to have a stress exercise cardiogram test which I am having tomorrow.

To maintain motivation, I need to see improvement. Not having a weight goal to assist me, this is somewhat harder. I want something more objective than 'feeling' better. I'm not sure if this test tomorrow might give me some data as a benchmark. I may have to go to a gym and see if they will give me an assessment without having to join.

So if anyone does happen to stumble upon this blog once more, if you have any comments/ideas/stories, please share them and join me on my journey from fallow to fit!

OMG.....

2009-07-28T22:46:00.002+10:00

..... a return to yoga and blogging....both in the same night!!
Will it last??

Hope for the Future

2009-04-09T21:14:00.002+10:00

I realise that title is a tautology……but….

I went to my first Deb Ball on Saturday night. I don’t want to go into the whole relevance and meaning of the event in contemporary society, but what I was struck by was the amount of boys dancing with each other. The first couple I saw I assumed were a couple and I thought how brave of them. It became obvious however as I saw more and more boys dancing with each other, that it was a case of mates dancing with each other (not discounting the fact that some of them may have been couples – but that is probably my romantic overlay doing some hoping!). These boys were dancing with each other the way girls have always been ‘allowed’ to dance with each other. This dancing was quite tactile, with arms around necks and waists. This gladdened my heart and gave me hope….along with an acknowledgement of loss of not having that sense of freedom when I was that age.

Beyond Memory

2009-03-04T22:21:00.008+11:00

One thing that the recent fires here in Victoria has made me do is reflect on what I would feel the greatest sense of loss around, apart from human life of course, should I lose possessions in a fire. For me it would be old family photographs. Someone at work said it would be items such as special things her children made and photos of them. I wouldn't feel such a sense of loss over them. Because I live so internally, if I have experienced something, my memory is a large part of my life. So because I was around when photos of my son were created, or I was there when he created that Picasso-esq piece of artwork, what is as important for me is my memory of that.

Old family photos of people I never met, or of my parents before I knew them, lie outside my memory. They are therefore more important than something I was around to experience.

This made me get around to getting a lot of them scanned so they can be stored in various places.
These are some of them. The oldest would have been taken in the late 1800s. Knowing that the taking of photographs took so much more effort a hundred years than it does now, hence their relative rarity, also makes them more special.My mind then begins to create stories around these people, based on some knowledge I have of them, but largely a romantic notion of their lives in those times.

Rejuvenation

2009-03-04T22:05:00.003+11:00

I've just returned from a lovely long weekend at the beach. It was good to have a short break before the academic year starts - and that was yesterday for me. I've been working extra over February while I was able, so I got a bit tired and cranky. I felt like I was turning into a bitter, grumpy old man. It's not a good look!

I'm surprised how much I'm looking forward to this semester. The subjects I'm doing this year are more clinical in nature, so will be more of a challenge for me and partly a reconnection to why I'm doing this mid-life career change. The last year or so the subjects I've done have been more psycho-social in nature, which is what I do in my day to day work anyway, so was less of a challenge. Having said that, it will be a busy semester. I may have to re-evaluate how much I'm working. This is also highlighting one of the disadvantages of doing a nursing course part time. In the lecture yesterday which was focussing on pathophysiology, the lecturer said this first lecture will be largely a revision of the science you did last year. For me that was three years ago!!!!! I'm hoping some of it stayed in the deep recesses of my brain and will come forth when required!!

Full though it may be, I'm looking forward to the semester, which is a good feeling.

They Don't Make Cool Changes Like They Used To

2009-02-02T23:05:00.004+11:00

I was still on leave last week, during Melbourne's hottest week. I would rather have been at work as I would have been more motivated and spent more time in air-conditioning. I did nothing. Even if it hadn't been as hot I probably still would have done nothing, but it would have been by choice rather than necessity. By Friday I was particularly grumpy, as I was woken up at 5.30am by neighbours who were mother and son having a conversation about son's need to be more responsible with his bankcard (I didn't think they still made bankcards!). I couldn't get back to sleep after that.
Since then I've felt flat and lethargic. The weather is better, although still into the 30's. I think the heat has exacerbated my cyclical feeling of flatness that has no particular cycle to it, it just comes and goes. Whilst this can occur frequently, I have a fear that I might remain there and while I'm there I tend to make things bigger in my mind than they are, so there tends to be more negative energy within me than I like.
I'm off to bed - hoping to wake up with more positive energy tomorrow.

Road Trip

2009-01-28T10:16:00.003+11:00

Last week son and I went for a road trip up to Canberra and Sydney for 5 days. We went to Canberra and stayed with friends. We visited the new Portrait Gallery (one of my favourites) and also saw the Degas exhibition. Son was remarkably engaged during these visits, making pertinent comments and asking relevant questions. We also visited the two Parliament Houses and the High Court, which son engaged with even more.
The family we stayed with is one with two parents and four kids, so it is a pretty full on household. The eldest child is a boy, about son's age and then the next three are girls. We basically did our own thing during the day, as the parents were working as was their son. One morning my friend and I were chatting before he went to work (it was not a holiday of sleep-ins!) and he commented on how quiet son was. We had a chat about context and relativity and then moved on. I think I managed to control my feeling of defensiveness!
We then went on to Sydney, the main point of the visit being to go to the one day cricket at the SCG. We were then told that our tickets would also get us into the domestic 20/20 final the next evening at ANZ Stadium. So we had cricket two nights in a row - what joy - what bliss! I jest, it was actually OK. I continue to be surprised at the extent I can engage with cricket when watching son, or with son. It's still not something I would choose to watch if I was on my own!
Son was in charge of the navigating, and he did very well in both Canberra and Sydney.
We are now at home sitting in the dark, trying to survive Melbourne's (possibly) longest heat wave on record. I don't really like them, but shopping centres have their place in times like this.

Friendship

2009-01-17T14:56:00.003+11:00

The people we were with on New Year's Eve were talking about New Year resolutions and one was to make at least one new friend. I was struck by that. I don't make new friends easily and the thought of being so deliberate about making new friends is something I find foreign. When I think about where I have made friends that last, it has been through church (when I was involved) or through work. So it is in a context of having another reason for connection with someone, an almost 'doing' that occurs alongside the development of a friendship, and this is something that takes time and is certainly not a deliberate act.

My not making friends easily is partly my introverted nature, partly laziness and partly commitment anxiety.

I was talking about this with my man who pointed out that I don't want new friends. There is some truth in that. I'm the kind of guy who has a small number of close friends. I'm aware that I can be intense about friendship. To me I have either friends or acquaintances. Others would talk about different levels of friendship, whereas I tend to be more black and white about it and those that I would call friends are the type of people I know I could call on in times of need.

There is a new PCA at the Nursing Home who is newly arrived in Australia. He came here to study and I think is struggling in various ways - financially and in feeling connected here. He has been very friendly towards me and I'm aware that that creates some anxiety for me as I think he would probably like to become friends with me. I need to just chill and let what happens, happen.

I am aware that most of my friends are older than me, so if I live to a ripe old age, I could be a lonely old man. Maybe I should be more deliberate about cultivating younger friends!!

An interesting thing, friendship, isn't it?

Enculturation

2009-01-17T14:45:00.002+11:00

The other day I was relieving on the reception desk at work. A man rang up to make a change to the next appointment for his partner. My natural instinct was to ask for 'her' name, however there was something in the way he introduced what he had to say that made me ask for 'his partner's name'. His partner was indeed male. It shows the enculturation of this gay man that his default position is the assumption of an opposite sex partner. We've got a way to go.

Homophobia......oops, sorry, Homonegativity

2009-01-08T11:56:00.002+11:00

Yesterday at work we were talking about actors and started talking about a particular Australian actor. A work colleague said she didn't like him, she thinks there is something 'weird' about him. She started to say 'I'm sure he's a closet...' then stopped. I didn't actually hear this, but another colleague did and encouraged/challenged her to finish the sentence. She said she didn't want to in case it would offend me, but in the end she was open about the fact that she thinks he's a closet gay - 'Not that there's anything wrong with that!', she was quick to state. I did point out to her that she had linked his 'weirdness' with his supposed homosexuality. 'I knew you'd be like that', she said, 'That's why I didn't want to say it'.
But she was thinking it!
This is a woman who wouldn't see herself as homophobic, or homonegative (is that the correct adjectival form?!), and I have to admit, neither would I.
I guess it's out there in subtle forms.

What day is it? Where am I?

2009-01-05T14:08:00.004+11:00

I used to wake up and not have to think twice about what day it was. Recently I have been waking up and taking a moment or two to register what day it is - and hence whether I need to get up straight away, or can steal more time in bed. I think this is partly due to not having as regular a routine as I used to.
This morning at work the boss wished a staff member who had just returned from leave a 'Happy New Year'. I then wished the boss Happy New Year. 'But we've already said that to each other', she replied. 'That was before New Year, not after it'. 'But we saw each other on Friday!'
...hhhmmm...
...maybe I just need a holiday!

...hhhmmm....

2009-01-04T20:50:00.003+11:00

I've just had a call from my father to inform me that my brother is coming over from Perth (to Melbourne) in a couple of weekends time - just for the weekend, arriving Saturday and leaving Sunday. He's coming on his own, without his family. It's a long way to come for one night! Apparently it's not business, for which he sometimes comes. He's also staying at Mum and Dad's. This is out of character for him. My mind is running wild with possible reasons. It could be as simple as he feels his parents are getting older and he wants to take opportunities to be with them more. Or maybe he's going to make some announcement!
....time will tell!

Leading or Following?

2009-01-02T22:21:00.002+11:00

I did an extra shift at the Nursing Home on New Years Day (afternoon, not morning!!). There are many staff who like things done a certain way – ie. their way! Generally speaking I find it easier to go along with them. As long as things are done well and safely, I don’t mind.

On New Years Day I was partnered with an agency PCA. This meant that I had to take the lead. I was pleased that I could do it – in terms of taking responsibility for making sure that everything that had to be done was done.

It’s good to be reminded that I can take the lead when necessary.

Large or Small?

2009-01-02T22:08:00.003+11:00

The other weekend we went to a gathering for a family event of my man. We come from quite different families. Mine is small and reserved. I have one brother who lives on the other side of the country. Apart from my parents, I have no other family in Melbourne at all. I’m not close to my brother, so we have very little to do with each other. I’m not particularly close to my parents either. My definition of not being close is not sharing much of what is important in our lives together.

The man’s family is much larger and less reserved. I can’t really comment on their closeness, according to my definition. There is all the activity and mayhem that goes with a larger family.

I feel that I have been welcomed into the family. It’s always good to feel welcomed. I often, although not always, find myself attracted to that which is different from my own experience. This is particularly so when it comes to family. So the combination of being attracted to and welcomed by the family, gives me a very warm feeling. My attraction to larger families is that I think they will be closer than mine.

I’ve been partnered to someone before with a large and different family to my own, so I know that I am idealistic about this. There are pros and cons of both small and large families and size does not define closeness. I still find however, that my initial response to a larger family is that they will be closer than mine. When I stop to think about it, I know this does not make sense. But at the moment I’m enjoying being connected to something different.

The man also has great friends who have welcomed me as well.

It’s all a great start to the New Year!

Wishing you a very neutral summer solstice event

2008-12-25T08:45:00.004+11:00

I hope your Christmas period is not this PC!

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes
for
an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress,
non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice
holiday,
practised with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion
or
secular practices of your choice with respect for the
religious/secular
persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to
practice
religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and
medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted
Gregorian
calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of
choice
of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our
country great (not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than
any
other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age,
physical
ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies
no
promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for
her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is
revocable
at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform
as
expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of
one
year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever
comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or
issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message;
however, a
significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.

Always the Bridesmaid

2008-12-19T23:22:00.003+11:00

Tonight son finally played his tennis grand final. This was two weeks late due to washouts twice in the last four weeks - who would've thought after the dry winter and spring we've had! Son left home tonight with four runners up flags from previous seasons. He ended the night with five runners up flags! He just can't seem to make it over the line. They lost quite badly, not helped by a player pulling out an hour before the game with an injury. We managed to get a substitute from a lower grade who hadn't played for a few weeks. They always have a little presentation after the game with the flags being handed out, which is particularly difficult for the losing team. I was proud of son who made a short but gracious and articulate speech as team captain. He sometimes does surprise me!

Flexibility

2008-12-10T22:46:00.003+11:00

I worked an extra shift last Saturday. When I got home from work on Saturday night, about 10.30pm, there was a message on the machine from the Admin Coordinator at my other work. She said it was about 4.30pm and if I got this message in the next half hour or so, could I please ring her. My mind did go through the possibilities of why she might be ringing. I ruled out some work related matter, as she would have rung me on my mobile. Along with her partner she also runs a catering/food store, from where I am ordering my turkey for Christmas this year, so I thought it might be something to do with that.
Anyway, I got to work on Tuesday and she explained that they were catering for a function on Saturday night, which included supplying waiting staff. At the last minute they had someone pull out, so they were madly ringing around seeing if someone could fill in. She said, ‘I didn’t know if you had any waiting experience, but I thought you’re the kind of guy who can put his hand to anything, so I thought I’d try you.’
I was chuffed to be thought of as someone who could put his hand to anything!

Twas The Month Before Christmas

2008-12-02T23:20:00.003+11:00

There are two things I like about Christmas - the food and the music. I do also like Christmas when there are young kids around, but mine is beyond that now. Whilst I like Christmas music, I only like it the two weeks prior to Christmas, not the two months prior! I can handle it in shopping centres and supermarkets because I can be in and out of them fairly quickly. I am back at the Nursing Home this week after a couple of weeks off for my placement and they have the Chrissie decs up and have carols going! So I'm going to have to put up with that for the next three weeks!
I've put myself down to do a nightshift on Christmas night. It will be very good money (relatively speaking!) which is what will see me through the night, that and me humming The Little Drummer Boy!

Winter, Spring, Summer or...

2008-11-22T10:26:00.005+11:00

It's mid-late November here in Melbourne (doh....like it's not the same around the world!). What's different from other parts of the world is that it is late Spring, almost Summer. I'm inside looking out at a wet day, which is wonderful because we don't get many of them these days, even in the depths of Winter. But it is also now hailing!! It is 8 degrees at 10.30am. I love being inside looking out at a day like this. The only thing missing is my man to snuggle with.

Ageing Gracefully!

2008-11-21T22:44:00.002+11:00

I had a very weird experience today. I went to a café over the road from the offices of my placement. As I was paying for my coffee, the woman serving me told me I looked familiar. She asked me where I grew up. I responded with ‘Out east’, meaning not around here. She then asked ‘Doncaster?’ ‘This is scary’, I said. ’Is your name Campbell?’ ‘This is very scary!’ ‘Did you go to Waldau Primary?’ It transpired that we were in the same grade a few years at Primary School. I confessed to not being able to remember her and commented on her memory. I then jested that I obviously hadn’t changed much in over 30 (!!) years. She said my eyes were the same. She evidently was only referring to my eyeballs and not the crows feet around them!

Hidden illness

2008-11-21T22:17:00.002+11:00

I am currently doing a placement for my nursing. It is a community mental health placement. It is with a service that assists clients who require fairly intensive involvement. It has been sobering to realise what some people in the community are coping with. Next time you’re in the supermarket queue or waiting at the bus stop and somebody is acting ‘differently’, consider that that person may be coping with a debilitating illness.

The Circle of Life

2008-11-21T22:04:00.002+11:00

A couple of significant occurrences last weekend involving the generation either side of me.

Son had his first shave. He just had a bit of fluff and probably won’t have to shave again for quite a while, but it was his first shave and therefore significant.

We went to see my parents on the weekend. There were many dead-heads on Mum’s roses. It wasn’t that long ago when she would have been out there every day dead-heading them. There were so many that I felt a need to take the secateurs to them. Perhaps by getting rid of them, I could convince myself that Mum is still managing as she used to. I also think this will be the first year that she won’t be making Christmas puddings and cakes.

So as one generation heads to adulthood, the other is heading towards frailty and dependence. I, in the middle, am observing the circle of life.

Happy Anniversary

2008-11-13T22:57:00.003+11:00

It’s been a busy week this week as I've done a couple of extra shifts at the Nursing Home. I have taken some time out however to remember an anniversary. Ten years ago, around this time, I came out as a gay man.

It started off with coming out to myself. This occurred during the watching of the movie ‘In & Out’ whilst sitting next to my then wife. Sounds weird, I know, but a story with some complexity which I might tell you about one day.

Very soon after that, a number of days from memory, I told the minister of the church I was attending at the time. He was very supportive and someone I will never forget and will always be grateful to.

Within another short period of time, perhaps a couple of weeks, I told my wife. This happened sooner than I had expected, again for complex reasons, which you may learn about in time if I feel I need to go into the detail. I use this experience as the benchmark for the hardest thing I have ever done. People have described me as brave for doing this, but the truth is I had got to the point where I felt I had no choice.

Then followed other family and friends. From hearing others’ stories of coming out, I had a very positive experience.

Ten years on, I can look back and know that I did the right thing. Being honest about and accepting my sexuality has allowed me to be more honest about other parts of my life as well.

I feel very fortunate. I have a son of whom I am proud and with whom I feel I have a positive relationship, I am still good friends with my ex-wife and I now find myself in a relationship that challenges and excites me. Even though this relationship is over 12 months strong, I still feel like a love struck teenager at times. I was telling a friend this and she said, ‘well that’s why you changed your life isn’t it’, meaning that was why I came out. I certainly didn’t think this at the time and if asked, wouldn’t have put it that way, but I know what she means. Part of the coming out was to be able to live in a manner that would enable me to experience life in as full a manner as possible along with all the feelings that go along with that.

I feel I’m getting too deep and tongue tied, so I’m going to finish now by wishing myself a Happy Anniversary.

I'm tired and emotional at the moment....

2008-10-30T22:44:00.006+11:00

It's due to a melange of reasons that is making it hard for me to have clarity.

I sat an exam yesterday for the unit that was the most badly administered and appallingly taught I have experienced thus far. The exam reflected this. I will pass, but it won't be my best result. On top of this I couldn't re-enrol on line due to an error in the system. When I pointed this out to the powers that be, it was acknowledged that the system was wrong, but that rather than amending the system, I , along with the others this was going to affect, needed to complete an amendment to enrollment form that I had to collect from the office.

I also didn't want to be at the exam on Wednesday as I would rather have been at a funeral. A friend died suddenly last Friday. He was the husband of a good friend at work. She was working on Friday and got a call from the police informing her of her husband's death. She was out on the road at the time, so a colleague and I went to collect her and drive her home. It was a great shock. The funeral was the same afternoon as my exam and changing it would have required moving a mountain. I was able to drop in to the 'after party' however.

I continue to find my colleagues at the Nursing Home very difficult to work with.

I am finding it a slog to complete the last weeks of the project at my other job. I have realised that project work isn't really my 'thing'. It's good to learn that of myself, but I am finding it a struggle to complete that which I have started. A mixture of laziness and lack of commitment methinks!

That workplace is also tensioned filled at present with various office politics at play. At times like this I find myself being the one unloaded to by various people. My stars this week told me I was good at that!

I'm contemplating a sickie tomorrow. Haven't done that for many years.

Amongst this melange have been some positive items of note.

Son has tennis of Friday night's. Last Friday I met him at the courts and was running a bit late due to D's death. We were hosting so there were things to be done. As I was sweeping the courts he came up to me and asked how work was. This in itself is not unusual, but in that context, where we were both focussed on something else, it was good to know that he has sensitivity to his environment and those within it.

I was feeling particularly flat last night when I got home. I then got a surprise visit from my man. It was a good night. He and son get on really well - even if it is at my expense at times! I like that - the getting on, not the my expense bit!, although I don't really mind that!

Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a feelings guy, that I could process more clearly by thought, but that's who I am and it does have some positives.

Racism

2008-10-12T23:44:00.002+11:00

Someone I know sent me this in an email. I like it because it gives specific examples which helps to ground a subject like this.

From Australia I can't verify some of the specifics, but I can imagine they are accurate.

How Racism Works
What if John McCain were a former president of the Harvard Law Review?
What if Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of his graduating class?

What if McCain were still married to the first woman to whom he said 'I do'?
What if Obama were the candidate who left his first wife after she no longer measured up to his standards?

What if Michelle Obama were a wife who not only became addicted to pain killers, but acquired them illegally through her charitable organization?
What if Cindy McCain graduated from Harvard?

What if Obama were a member of the Keating-5?
What if McCain were a charismatic, eloquent speaker?

If these questions reflected reality, do you really believe the election numbers would be as close as they are?

This is what racism does. It covers up, rationalizes and minimizes positive qualities in one candidate and emphasizes negative qualities in another when there is a color difference.

You are The Boss... which team would you hire?
With America facing historic debt, two wars, stumbling health care, a weakened dollar, all-time high prison population, mortgage crises, bank failures, trillion dollar Federal bailouts of private corporations, etc.
Educational Background:
Obama:
Columbia University - B.A. Political Science with a Specialization in International Relations.
Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude
Biden:
University of Delaware - B.A. in History and B.A. in Political Science.
Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)
vs.
McCain:
United States Naval Academy - Class rank: 894 of 899
Palin:
Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in Journalism

Now, which team are you going to hire ?

THIS IS YOUR NATION ON WHITE PRIVILEGE

By Tim Wise [A national anti-racism trainer]

For those who still can't grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are constantly looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because "every family has challenges," even as black and Latino families with similar "challenges" are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is when you can call yourself a "f***n' redneck," like Bristol Palin's boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you'll "kick their f***n' ass," and talk about how you like to "shoot s**t" for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.

White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.

White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don't all kill themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you're "untested."

White privilege is being able to say that you support the words "under God" in the pledge of allegiance because "if it was good enough for the founding fathers, it's good enough for me," and not be immediately disqualified from holding office--since, after all, the pledge was written in the late 1800s and the "under God" part wasn't added until the 1950s--while believing that reading accused criminals and terrorists their rights (because, ya know, the Constitution, which you used to teach at a prestigious law school requires it), is a dangerous and silly idea only supported by mushy liberals.

White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you.

White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto was "Alaska first," and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you're black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school, people immediately think she's being disrespectful.
White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do--like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor--and people think you're being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college--you're somehow being mean, or even sexist.

White privilege is being able to convince white women who don't even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your running mate anyway, because all of a sudden your presence on the ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give your party a "second look."

White privilege is being able to fire people who didn't support your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in Chicago means you must be corrupt.

White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological
principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God's punishment on Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you're just a good church-going Christian, but if you're black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you're an extremist who probably hates America.

White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you such a "trick question," while being black and merely refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O'Reilly means you're dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced.

White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism is, as Sarah Palin has referred to it a "light" burden.

And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters aren't sure about that whole "change" thing. Ya know, it's just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, - which is very concrete and certain.

White privilege is, in short, the problem.

Frustration!!

2008-10-09T21:18:00.004+11:00

I have a very low threshold at the moment for any incompetence, inefficiency and stupidity that impacts on me. I attended one of the most frustrating lectures I've ever experienced today, and trust me, I've experienced many. As I type this, I think it was probably more the mood I was in that the fact that it was the worst lecture. Nevertheless!!
This lecturer has not attended Powerpoint 101 tutorials and knows nothing about how to use the medium as an educational tool.
We watched a video, but only after nearly 15 minutes of fluffing around trying to get it to work, followed by needing to watch it rewind from the end before starting it again because somehow that's the only way he could get it to start at the beginning! If he wasn't handing back our assignments at the end of the lecture, I would have been out of there like a shot. I guess he does have a degree of cleverness about him!
It is a Mental Health subject and some of the subject matter today covered sexual disorders. There was a scarily confusing discussion about homosexuality and paedophilia, with no clear clarification by the lecturer.
When I finally got my assignment I walked out using some of that language from the previous post!

WTF!

2008-10-09T12:08:00.003+11:00

I was reading an article in the magazine of last weekend's paper which was an interview with a local actor. It naturally quoted him many times and I lost count of the number of times I read 'f**k'. It got me thinking what power language has. Now everyone who reads that knows that it stands for 'fuck', but for some reason, we feel that putting it in black and white is just too much for society to read. I tend to think if only two letters of a four letter word are going to be left out, why bother? Are most people's sensitivities pampered to by only reading 'f**k', instead of 'fuck'?
I grew up with a blanket ban on swearing in the house. I remember Dad having a go at me for saying 'blast' once. This was from a man whose strongest expletive is 'blow'! Personally I thought there was only a small degree of difference between the two words, but I had obviously crossed the line.
While I'm not in favour of hearing the word 'fuck' in general society, I guess I'm saying that when it comes to the written word, there is no degree of difference between 'f**k' and 'fuck', so let's call an expletive an expletive!

A Mixed Bag

2008-09-22T22:57:00.003+10:00

I have just come in from a most frustrating shift at the Nursing Home. I was working with a woman whose communication skills were poorly lacking. She constantly replaced a sentence with a word and expected that to suffice. At other times she would keep repeating the same thing to me despite my acknowledgment of what she was saying. At one point I even had to raise my voice to her over a resident as she appeared not to have heard my response to her repetitive statement! Very unprofessional of me, I know.
There is also so much cliqueness and bitching that goes on amongst staff. I find myself becoming increasingly adept at ignoring people!
It is the residents however, that so often make it for me (cliche though that may be!). A resident told me tonight that I do very well.............for my age!
Thanks 90 year old Daisy!

More fractured ribs

2008-09-17T23:58:00.003+10:00

Last night when I got home from work, I had the phone call I had been expecting, although I didn’t realise how much I was expecting it until it came.

There was a message from Dad on the machine saying that Mum had had a fall and was in hospital. It was nothing major, but she had broken five ribs and bruised her shoulder. This in itself wouldn’t have required her hospitalisation, but she also had some blood in her lung, so they wanted to monitor her for infection and blood clots.

I saw her tonight and she looked quite good. She wasn’t distressed or confused. She was annoyed that she has had her share of falls outside on hard concrete which bruised and battered her, but it took a fall inside on wall to wall carpet to fracture her ribs!

She seems to be handling the pain well – and don’t I know about that pain having fractured my own ribs in the past
….well, one rib…….
......................................well maybe it was only bruised, but could well have been fractured!

Recovered Documents

2008-09-17T23:43:00.005+10:00

Amidst my feeling of disequilibration, I had a mini IT crisis at work. Of course it wasn’t really a crisis and at any other time it wouldn’t have felt so, but it is times like these when the proverbial mole hill appears mountain-like.

I had been working on a number of documents using a USB stick and a laptop at another site than my office. I did the silly thing of creating it on the USB stick with the plan of copying it in onto the laptop, rather than the other way around. Before I got to copy it three of the four documents somehow corrupted and I couldn’t access them anymore.
When I got back to the office I asked the IT person there if she could help. She had a quick look but said it was beyond her, so suggested I send them to the IT department at our head office, which I did. That was last Friday. When I got back into the office on Tuesday I had an email from him saying, in essence, sorry but there’s nothing we can do.
I could have done them again, but that would have meant another half a day wasted. I was feeling immobilised by the situation. Last night however, I was round at my man’s, who is something of an IT whiz – AND HE RECOVERED MY DOCUMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another reason to love him!

Disequilibrated

2008-09-15T13:47:00.002+10:00

This doesn't quite explain how I feel at the moment, but I like the word so I thought it would be a good title!
I completed an essay recently and was going through some of my old ones to double check my referencing. When I was looking at the old ones I realised that I only did them last semester. It felt like at least a year ago. That was a reflection of how I'm feeling about study at the moment. It doesn't really feel connected to anything at present. I don't feel like it's leading me anywhere. I don't feel like I'm learning anything from it right now. I feel like I'm going through the motions.
At work I'm feeling a bit anxious about the project I'm working on. It's coming closer to the end (December) and I don't have as much of a sense of the end result as I would like. I guess I had hoped that I would end up with something solid and concrete that would make a major impact on the industry. That 'ain't gunna happen! It may be that I end up with more questions and answers, with yet further recommendations.
I guess I'm wishing for some more stability in my life, perhaps even some more direction. When I feel like this my natural response is to stop moving, to stop searching and just remain where I am and do very little...and yes, wallow a tad as well. Somehow I do end up moving on again, I feel the ground is stable enough to keep on in some direction.
Don't worry, this isn't major. I go through disequilibration from time to time. It's just uncomfortable for a homely cancerian like myself.

Skipping

2008-09-03T22:03:00.003+10:00

I love seeing children skip (not with a rope). I actually like seeing anyone skip, however I can't remember the last time I saw an adult skip, which is fair enough, I always try and skip unseen!
To me, the act of skipping is the epitome of lightheartedness. It's a reminder to me not to take life too seriously.
Today I witnessed a pre-schooler having a temper tantrum in the street. Her mother kept on walking. The little girl then started after her. She broke into skipping. I found this an interesting juxtaposition, one that I wouldn't have thought could co-exist - skipping whilst crying!
Maybe it's possible to not take life seriously in a serious manner!

More Dot Points

2008-08-27T22:18:00.002+10:00

4 things about this week:

** Maybe there is something to faith! Apropos of the previous post, this week actually does have a Spring feeling to it with some sun, some warmth and the aroma of Spring in the air.

** While working at the nursing home last night I had to park on the road. Somebody swiped my side mirror and broke it. They did clean it up so there was no glass on the road, but my mirror is still broken and I fear will cost a fair bit to replace. It's also VERY inconvenient, even unsafe, driving without a side mirror on the driver's side.

** I'm doing a project at work at the moment. It's my whole working life, but is a small blimp on the occupational radar of others that I work with and need information from. I feel I am constantly asking and nagging for information and for things to be done so I can progress with the project. This doesn't come naturally to me. I am way outside my comfort zone.

** Son is having an interview at a local supermarket for some work tomorrow. He's growing up!!

Spring?

2008-08-18T23:02:00.003+10:00

For me, my first sighting of Jasmine indicates that Spring is just around the corner. I saw my first sighting this morning! hhmmm...I guess I'll have to take it on faith. It still feels like we're in the depth of winter.

Dot Points

2008-08-14T19:55:00.004+10:00

I've tried doing a proper blog post in the past few days, but feeling very uninspired. Maybe this is to do with my ambivalence about maintaining the blog. Anyway, I thought I'd borrow an idea from The Other Andrew and do a '5 Things About'
So.... 5 things about this week:

*I returned from holiday at the beginning of the week from the northern climes of this great country - and now I'm cold!

*I went to yoga last night for the first time in many weeks. I'm surprised I wasn't sorer than I am today.

*Son has now surpassed me in height. He is pumped!

*There is a cafe near me called 'That Cafe'. I reckon you could do a 'Whose On First' routine around that name.

OK - that was only 4!

Is there more to life than this?

2008-07-16T23:46:00.006+10:00

I work at the Nursing Home on a Monday and Tuesday evening. As I sat down to feed a resident on Tuesday night, a resident I had fed the night before, I thought to myself, "Here we go again, feeding the same person in the same bed the same vitamised meal. Is this what life's about?" I was thinking from my own perspective, but then I managed to remove myself momentarily from the centre of my own universe to think about it from the resident's perspective. She lies in the same bed, day in, day out, unable to communicate, having people do everything for her, including encouraging her to swallow. Is this what life's about for her? Does she have a different sort of life in her own mind that we are totally unaware of? Hhmmm....the thinking got all a bit too hard. Maybe that's why staff don't do very much thinking here, the job just gets all too hard if you think too much.
Sad.

More of Habit

2008-07-16T23:10:00.003+10:00

Today I was talking with a couple of workmates - at work, but not about work! One of them, A, has recently had her relatively new partner move into her house with her so we were talking about how that is going. The other, G, then said to me, "So now we need to set you up with a man". "He's already got one!" says A. G then squealed "oohhh tell me, who, who?" My reflex response was to shhhsh her. I regretted that. It came across that I was wanting to keep it a secret, which isn't true, as many people at work know - I just pick and choose who I talk to about my personal life, as I'm sure we all do to varying degrees.
Again my response was one of habit. Whilst I was disappointed that that was how I reacted, at least I was aware of it pretty quickly, which is the beginning of changing habits that we want to change.

Habit

2008-07-06T09:53:00.002+10:00

As I have eluded to before I am currently enjoying the company of a special gentleman. Over recent weeks and months we have been doing the meeting of the families, which has all gone well, despite some anxiety on my part. The most anxiety producing meeting for me was that of my ex wife, which occurred last night.

As I was thinking about this anxiety during the week I realised it was different to normal. It was more in the head than in the gut, more of an intellectual anxiety. I used to compartmentalise my life a lot more than I do now and so used to get anxious at various compartments mixing. What was happening for me in these events was that I had two compartments mixing and so my natural response of habit was to get anxious. To a large degree however, that’s all it was, anxiety of habit, not the real gut churning anxiety. So it wasn’t real anxiety that had an effect on me.

That was a little light bulb experience, to realise how I’ve changed over the years.

Part of my lack of anxiety was also an indication of how comfortable and ‘right’ it feels to have this man in my life.

Oh and last night went off very well.

I'm injured

2008-06-30T22:04:00.002+10:00

I've bruised a rib - if I'm being a drama queen I say I've fractured a rib. Son and I were having a playful rough and tumble on Friday night. We still have these from time to time. It is son who initiates them. I think he is trying to assert himself as stronger than me. I engage with the desire to maintain my role of 'top dog'. He is getting too big for that and I am getting too old. A knee or elbow landed in my stomach and great pain followed. It was manageable over the weekend, but on Sunday night I engaged in some too strenuous activity and today I am uncomfortable most of the time and in pain some of the time.
It has brought the sub-conscious to the surface as I've become aware of muscles I use unaware. Coughing and laughing are painful. One interesting context I notice it is driving. Getting in and out of the car is no mean feat. Turning the corner in the car, I'm aware of the inertia of my body that my muscles normally take care of while I concentrate on the road.
I hope it'll be better soon as I had to call in sick for my shift at the nursing home tonight, and think I'll probably have to do the same tomorrow night.
In the meantime, I'm making the most of the drugs!

End of Financial Year

2008-06-27T22:34:00.001+10:00

We had a number of new chairs arrive today for our meeting room at work. A number of new handsets for mobile phones are being distributed as well……
Oh yes, it’s the end of the financial year…..use it or lose it.
Imagine if all the left over amounts of money could be kept and used for important things in subsequent financial years. I wonder if anyone has ever thought of that before!

Communication

2008-06-27T22:17:00.002+10:00

I’m finding the communication with my colleagues at the Nursing Home a tad frustrating!

A couple of scenarios:

“Pass me that please” she said, her hands busy attending to a resident and her head down.
“That?’ I reply
“Yes that.”
“The blanket? The towel? The pillow?”
“The towel”
“Sure I can pass you the towel”

“I’ll grab this one and you grab that one”, she said, taking hold of the one and only pillow in sight.
‘That one would be…?”
“His head”
“Oh….ok!”

I don’t think I’m expecting a particularly high level of communication….but maybe I am.

Wearing History

2008-06-21T00:31:00.003+10:00

I’m rarely in attire that calls for cufflinks. I do however have one shirt that calls for them. I was wearing it a while ago when I went to the theatre. I was wearing this particular shirt a couple of Christmases ago and I was talking with my parents about how cufflinks would suit it, but I only had one pair of jade cufflinks which wouldn’t have gone with the shirt. Mum told Dad to get out his array of cufflinks. My Dad is not one for putting on a show as far as dress goes. He dresses for comfort rather than looks – a point of contention for Mum and has been for all their married life. His collection of cufflinks is quite small and I don’t think he’s worn a pair for over 40 years. Most of them were typical of the 50s and 60s – large and garish. He did however have two pairs (pictured) that were simple and elegant. They belonged to his father. One pair is silver and the other gold. The gold pair have my grandfather’s initials on them. As you can see, they are two flat pieces of metal joined together by a chain. They are not particularly easy to put on, but once on I like their look. I also like the fact that I am wearing some family history. I’m imagining that my grandfather might have got one of the pairs, perhaps the engraved pair, for his 21st birthday. That would make them over 80 years old.
I like that!

Life Is A Balance

2008-06-21T00:12:00.002+10:00

Life is very full at the moment. It’s all good stuff, but I do need to make sure that I am able to give attention to the important things in life. I’ll be doing two regular shifts at the nursing home, with other shifts available at times if I want them. I have my ‘regular’ job, which is two and a half days a week. I’m on semester break at present, but will be back at Uni in about 3 weeks. I’m only doing one subject this semester, so will be able to cover all that in one day. I want to make sure that I am not so distracted as not to be aware of how things are going for son and to be able to ‘hang out’ with him. I also want to ensure that I have time and attention to give to my relationship (don’t tell him I described it thus!), which is many months strong now and going in a direction I like and want to maintain.
So as I said, it’s all good stuff, but does take some balancing.

Where will we end up?

2008-06-20T22:18:00.004+10:00

I have recently started a new (additional) job. I have started work as a Personal Care Worker at an Aged Care Facility. The reason for this has been two fold. 1) I need more money! 2) Doing my nursing part time, the time gaps between my clinical placements is so much longer. I have a fear that the next time I’m in a hospital doing a placement, I will take too long to get used to ‘handling’ patients again. This work will help me to ‘keep my hand in’ so to speak. Personal care work is good basic nursing, providing me with valuable experience.
I have to say it has been confronting on various levels. The very environment is confronting. Spending time in a large living/dining area that is quite noisy as residents are chatting, yelling, singing, just sitting blankly, playing with food, playing with themselves, undressing and dressing themselves is an assault on the senses. The smells of a nursing home are particularly assaulting. All smells, those of things that go into the body and those that are expelled from the body, all seem to merge into the same odour.
Seeing humans being treated as objects is confronting. This sounds critical, and on some level it is, however there are times when that’s what I feel I am doing when I’m washing and changing severely demented people whose limbs are as stiff as a board, or waving about like a brandishing weapon.
It is confronting to think that this is how many people end their lives, herded together with similar aged people whose worlds have diminished to what is happening within a couple of metres of them. (This is particularly so for the man in his late 40s who is a resident there due to his MS). It is confronting to think that maybe that’s how I might end my days, or more urgently, how my parents might end their lives.
The very experience of starting a new job, learning where things are kept, trying to remember other staff’s names, learning the ‘culture’ of the workplace, has been exhausting. It has been nearly nine years since I started a new job in a new organization. I haven’t been a newbie for so long. Being the introvert that I am, it comes at some cost.
I make it sound like it’s all negative, but it’s not. I am slowly finding my place, how I relate with the residents in a way that I feel is right for me, how to wind down after a shift…….and I’ve had my first payslip which helps greatly!!

I'd Love To

2008-06-09T11:55:00.002+10:00

I've not been in this exact situation, but I have been in situations where I've wondered who someone is talking to.

Found on Queer Humor Tube

Letting Go

2008-05-28T22:05:00.004+10:00

As I've mentioned before, and my paucity of entries indicate, I'm feeling ambivalent about my blog at the moment. I had almost decided that I would stop blogging, then last night I went through the entries and comments on my blog since I began it. I was quite moved by some of the content of both the entries and comments. I had forgotten much of what I had blogged about. It got me back in touch with the sense of community I felt in the blogosphere. It also reminded me of the expressive outlet it was for me, as well as assisting me in clarifying some thoughts and feelings that I had.

I'm not exactly sure what has changed for me in recent months....well I do actually, but I don't want to go into that now....maybe down the track....or maybe not.

Re-reading the blog however, has made me realise that I'm not quite ready to give it up now. I don't know what the future will hold for it, but right at this moment, I can't do it.

Sorry for this obscure entry - I just wanted to say that I'm still here but don't know for how long.

Awe inspiring bugs

2008-05-11T10:37:00.008+10:00

Hi all,
Yes I'm still around. I was thinking that maybe my blogging days are over, when yesterday I had this experience that I wanted to share.

I was outside digging in the communal garden when I caught some movement in the corner of my eye. What I saw was a caterpillar in its cocoon. I then saw that there were another couple close by that were on the move. I initially thought they were caterpillars doing their metamorphosis into butterflies, but thought it was the wrong time of year for that. What I finally realised was that this was the last stage of their cocooning process and they were moving to their final hibernating place. One moved across a 5 metre concrete path to find its resting place. Their cocoons are such intricate abodes, I'd love to know how they create them.

I've recently got a new mobile for work that means I could take these pics and movies of the event.

I was very moved by what I saw, seeing nature at work. These are things we can often miss in our busy lives and its good to be reminded of the workings of nature, especially in the inner city suburbs. I found it an awesome experience, in the true sense of the word.

I actually find it quite awesome that I was able to work out how to catch the experience on the mobile and transfer it to this blog, but awesome in the more popular sense of the word!

Spam

2008-04-25T09:48:00.003+10:00

It can be a funny experience checking out the subject matter of the spam that comes through our filter at work. The other day one was entitled 'Can angles have sex with humans?'
.....hhhhmmmm

A wandering mind

2008-04-21T20:15:00.005+10:00

I was soooo not into being at yoga tonight. The instructor on Monday nights talks too much for my liking and tonight I found it VERY annoying. So very early on it was only a physical experience for me, with little thinking about what I was doing. Hence my mind wandered as it is wont to do.

One of the problems I have when sitting in a cross legged position, is maintaining a straight back. It was a bit uncomfortable tonight and I started thinking
... what would an osteopath do for my back. This reminded me of having drinks with a couple of friends a few weeks ago where the osteopath of one friend came into the wine bar and engaged quite a bit (and unprofessionally we all decided) with said friend. This friend has seen him at one of the gay friendly medical practices in Melbourne. This got me to thinking how difficult it would be for a gay doctor working in a gay friendly practice to be active in the gay scene and not frequently come across their patients.

.....How did I get on to this? Oh yes, my sore back....oh well at least it made me forget about it for awhile. Actually I also forgot I was in a yoga class, so I blinked my eyes open to find everyone else doing something totally different from me!

It was one of those nights!

What the........

2008-04-12T09:16:00.004+10:00

I often find my weirdest dreams are short, sharp ones that occur just before I wake up, when I sometimes think I'm semi-conscious.
The other morning I had one about a new health kick that involved drinking your pubic hair!
WTF?!
What was going on in my sub-conscious?!?!??!

Chocolate and Zucchini

2008-04-12T08:59:00.002+10:00

The other night I had some zucchini I wanted to use, so came across a zucchini and chocolate cake recipe. I've since discovered chocolate and zucchini is a big industry - there's even a blog!!
I took it to work yesterday. No-one could taste the 'secret' ingredient. I guess zucchini doesn't have much of a taste. The texture was different though.
Son said he didn't like it - but I think that was just on principle!
A good way to increase your veggie intake!!

Vicarious Travel

2008-04-09T21:49:00.003+10:00

With all the protests lately in support of Tibet, son and I were talking about the country and he asked where Tibet is. He immediately regretted this as my natural response was "Let's get the atlas". He outwardly groans when this happens because I can spend hours pouring over the atlas. It's how I do my travel! My imagination goes wild as I plan intineries for myself, taking note of out of the way places as well as more well known cities.
I could say I am well travelled, which is true. The vast majority of it however, was done before the age of 5 when my family lived overseas. My adult travel has been restricted to the U.K., Italy and Hong Kong.
Despite my love of travel, it always seems to be something I will do 'in the future'. The future has been and gone and is always with us as well as ahead of us. Maybe I need to grasp the 'always with us' definition.

People vs Computers

2008-04-05T12:34:00.004+11:00

Due to the storms here in Melbourne last Wednesday, many people have been without power and telephone lines for a number of days now. My parents have been one of those with no phone access for nearly 72 hours. They are with Optus and so I have been ringing Optus for them for updates on how the reconnection is going. Each time I have rung I have been confronted with the automated voice activated programme, requiring me to speak a word or short sentence in response to questions. Nine times out of ten I am not understood, despite my deliberate enunciation of words. It got to the point where I just ended up saying 'Blah, blah, blah', as I knew that that would get me speaking to a real person much sooner!
Apart from the first time I rang, when I was in the presence of my mother, it has been a most relevant opportunity for cursing as a release of frustration (apropos of a recent blog entry). I would far rather press numbers on the keypad than speak to a machine. Why do they feel a need to anthropomorphise (my computer's not underlined this to tell me it's not a word!!) machinery? Do they have evidence to show that this is more efficient than other methods of getting to speak to a real person?
Maybe I'm just getting old!!

Homophobic?

2008-04-01T08:45:00.005+11:00

I came home from yoga last night and son was watching the premier of the new show Power of Ten. It's a quiz show where contestants have to guess the percentage of Australians that answered a question a certain way in what was obviously a very dubious poll. One question was "How many Australians had their first pash before the age of 10?" Yes, the questions are of that calibre!!! I can't remember the result, but it was quite high. The presenter, Steve Jacobs, asked the guy who got closest to the right answer when he had his first pash. The guy responded '9 3/4'. Steve Jacobs then said, 'I hope you didn't go to an all boys school!'

Am I being oversensitive in finding this offensive, in thinking that we've got a long way to go before homosexuality is seen as not deviant? What does such a comment say to the kids out there who do have a crush on their same sex friends at school? Is this a form of homophobia?
I'm surprised by the intensity of my response. I might even write a letter to the paper!!

Visuals

2008-03-30T14:18:00.003+11:00

I've been reminded recently how much of a visual person I am. It had been (too) many days since I had seen someone in particular and I was missing him. As I was shutting down my computer, he appeared on my desktop (I have a group of photos from a recent trip away that randomly change on my desktop). I was surprised at the intensity of my response. I also thought myself an idiot for not using photos earlier. Not that photos are a substitute for seeing someone in person, but being the visual person I am they help to connect me with people.
In my new role at work I have been meeting people that I have not met before but have spoken with on the phone for many years. When I speak with someone on the phone I always have a visual of who I am speaking with. If I haven't met them, I need to create that visual. It has been interesting to see how accurate my visuals have been, or not in some cases!
I've always thought that if I were to lose either my sight or my hearing, I would prefer to lose my hearing.

Ageing

2008-03-22T19:16:00.003+11:00

I was speaking to my mother on the phone this morning (when she rang at 9am on a Saturday morning – yes I was awake but still in bed!). I wanted to check something she had said the other day about some treatment she was having that confused me. In the course of the conversation she admitted to having fallen outside her neighbours house yesterday, which led to a general discussion about how she is feeling. At one point she said she thinks she’s ‘coming to the end of the road’. I didn’t quite know how to respond to this. I smothered my immediate response, which was to deny that – I hate it when people deny others’ feelings (and this statement was one of feeling as much as thought). There was enough of a pause for her to say ‘Go on, say it, what else can you expect’. I was honestly able to say that wasn’t what I was thinking. She then saved the moment by moving the conversation on.
The problem is I do think she is coming to the end of the road. Not that I think she is imminently dying. But she is coming to the end of the road as she knows it. The road of independence, of not being constricted by her body. I guess she’s come to the bend in the road called old age.
She’s finding it hard and I don’t know the best way to support her at this time.

##?#?*

2008-03-22T19:14:00.002+11:00

Every now and then I need to check my language. Yes I’m talking about swearing here. I rarely swear in public, but I do tend to swear a lot to myself. There are times however when people are within earshot. What I like about swearing is how it can make you feel so much better. That’s why I feel it should not be overused. If significant words are used constantly, then they lose their power when you really need them.
That’s what I have taught son, that swearing has its place, but not to overdo it. This is in contrast to how I was brought up, where I remember being blasted for saying ‘blast’! The result of this is that son rarely swears (well OK, not in my hearing – but at least he has good self control!).
Yesterday I said a word in response to dropping something. The word was out of proportion to the act. I need to keep that in check.

Perceptions of Violence

2008-03-22T19:08:00.003+11:00

I saw Drillbit Taylor yesterday with son. It is definitely one of those male adolescent movies, about a group of nerds who employ a bodyguard to protect them from the school bullies.
I found the violence confronting. It was very graphic for supposed school yard bullying. It probably also linked me in with my school yard experience, which whilst it had very little physical violence, had it’s fair share of stressful moments.
Later in the evening we were watching The Simpsons. The violence in that was no less graphic, yet less confronting.
It’s interesting that violence becomes more acceptable when it’s cartoonised. (hhmmm, I might have created a new word!)

Assumptions

2008-03-18T17:17:00.005+11:00

Last year when I went to a palliative care conference here in Melbourne I got a shoulder bag which is of a convenient size, so I kept it and use it from time to time. I usually wear it with the logo facing towards me so as not to bring attention to it. Today I was on the tram with it and I noticed the man opposite me looking at it. "Damn", I thought, "I've got the logo facing out". After a few moments, he asked me if I was a palliative care worker. I replied in the affirmative. He told me it would be good for me (!) to read this article and handed me the 'mX', which is a free daily magazine type paper here in Melbourne. He smiled (smirked?) and then got off the tram. The article was about euthanasia, or more specifically about a woman in France who was unable to access euthanasia. (Because we here in Melbourne need to know about individual cases of euthanasia in France!)
I can only speculate about why that man thought I, as a palliative care worker, needed to read that article. Palliative care is widely misunderstood in the community, so it could have anything from he equates palliative care with euthanasia, so thought I would be interested, to him seeing palliative care as dichotomous to (with? - need to check my grammar!) euthanasia, so wanted to point out to me what I, by association, have prevented this woman from accessing. Given his smirk as he gave me the paper, I tend to think it was something down the latter end of the spectrum.
I must take this opportunity to do some public health to reiterate that palliative care isn't concerned with length of life, it's aim is to neither shorten nor extend life, but is concerned with quality of life, regardless of length.
Whatever you do, don't assume you know someone's view on something like euthanasia just because of their employment.

It's All A Matter Of Perspective

2008-03-17T21:22:00.002+11:00

I had dinner with my parents tonight. They were talking of an 80 year old they know who has recently been in hospital. Mum commented that he has so many things wrong with him she didn't think he would 'make old bones'. I asked my 82 year old mother (rather bravely I thought!) what her definition of 'old bones' was. "Um.....85" she replied with an inflection in her voice.

Love Actually

2008-03-08T14:40:00.006+11:00

The movie Love Actually was on TV last night.
This post was originally going to be a post about longer hair on men (more of that later), with Love Actually as a tenuous conduit. I got thinking more about the movie however, and decided that I really liked it. Yes it was Hollywood (or whatever the English version is) and had all the negative aspects those blockbuster films have, but it had enough of real life for it to be a more substantial film. For those who don't know the film it is about eight different stories of love between individuals that loosely connect with each other. Not all the stories were about romantic love between a man and a woman. There was an ageing rockstar's love for his long suffering agent, the step father's love for his stepson, the love of a sister for her intellectually disabled brother, as well as the love a young boy had for the apparently unattainable girl at school. The main thing I liked was that not all the stories had a happy ending. One left you with the feeling of potential for a happy ending, but only if much hard work is embarked upon and one ended abruptly leaving a space of emptiness. This is where it connected more closely with the stuff of life.
Now I'm known as a romantic, so that side of the movie appealed to me, but it was also a very funny film, with a great cameo by Rowan Atkinson.
Oh and the hair thing? Well I was quite taken by the actor Rodrigo Santoro (pictured above left). His hair is screeching out for my hands to run through it. There are not many men who can wear longer hair well, but for those that can, it is mighty appealing! The pic on the right (which was supposed to be at the end of the entry) has nothing to do with Love Actually, but another example of the hair thing (in more ways than one!).
Note to self: learn how to put pictures in different places in an entry!

The Changing of the Seasons

2008-03-07T20:21:00.003+11:00

This week I had to drive to a hospital in the outer northern suburbs of Melbourne. I drove past a parade of trees whose leaves were turning their beautiful autumnal tones. Autumn is just around the corner - despite the late spurt of summer weather forecast in the coming days here in Melbourne.

Youthful Learning

2008-03-07T19:46:00.003+11:00

We had parent teacher interviews at son's school last night. Why do they allow twelve year olds to teach? I'd swear some of those teachers have yet to reach puberty! Of course this is no reflection on my ageing process whatsoever!!

The God Delusion

2008-02-28T22:57:00.003+11:00

Following on from the previous literary post, over the summer I read Richard Dawkins’ The God Delusion. It basically tries to dispel the existence of God from a scientific perspective.
I grew up in a culturally Christian family. Some of us went to church some of the time. From my teenage years I was at no point forced to continue to go. There was something that kept me there however. In the end it was just Mum and me who went, and I think Mum only went as long as she did because I wanted to go. I’ve always been considered the most religious in the family.
I’ve often wondered what kept me going to church. It was partly a personality thing. I was attracted to the ritual of it all, albeit a Protestant bent. But there was also a search element in it for me. I always felt there was something more that I was searching for. I dabbled in various aspects of the Christian faith, some very conservative. My faith was very important for me, even though I struggled with various aspects of it. I was very fortunate to be mostly involved with people who allowed, and even encouraged, intelligent questioning.
When I came out as gay, I guess I looked at many aspects of my life, not just my sexuality. So over time, I came to realise that I didn’t believe in God anymore. I don’t feel that I ‘lost’ my faith and I certainly have no bitterness or resentment for the time I spent in the church. For me it was a fertile context in which to explore some of the meaning issues of life. I realise it was the accident of birth that made me born into the family I was and hence started me off in the church, so maybe I would have done that searching anyway had I been born into a different context. It was also very supportive for me during my coming out process, for which I will always be grateful.
I can’t really explain how I went from a point of ‘belief’ to a point of ‘non-belief’. I don’t feel that I was duped for all those years. I don’t feel I was living a lie. I see them as important and valid years in making me the person I am today. Yet I feel quite sure in my belief that God does not exist. I still consider myself spiritual. For me that manifests itself in my connections with other people and the earth. I guess I’m an atheist in the true sense of the word. I don’t believe in a theistic being.
I think part of why I am so confident in my atheistic state is that I am more confident and trusting of myself and who I am.
....
I've just had a pleasant distraction, so lost my train of thought. I felt there was something more I was going to say but can't remember what, so will leave it at that.

A literary tagging

2008-02-19T18:01:00.003+11:00

I have been tagged again, this time by Yarravillepaul. This is a different sort of one. It is the Page 123 escapade.

The instructions were: “the mandate: pick up a book on the top of your book stack, turn to page 123, read the first five sentences, then post the next three sentences”.

So being a bit anal when it came to instructions, this was the result:

'You saw her come in. She and her brother have been to dinner.'
'You only think so.'

Doesn't give you much does it? This is from an E.M. Forster omnibus I took away to Adelaide with me to ensure I had enough to read during the cricket. It is from The Longest Journey.

I thought that was a bit boring, so to prove I was not THAT anal, I picked up another book, which I haven't yet started, but hope to soon. It is Ian McEwan's On Chesil Beach:

Naturally, Florence talked about her plans for the Ennismore Quartet. The week before they had gone to their old college and played Beethoven's Razumovsky right through for her tutor, and he was obviously excited. He told them straight away they had a future, and must at all costs hang together and work extremely hard.

...hhhmmmm, it's got me intrigued....

I'm not really into tagging, but I do note that Miss L. over at Melange, has a post apropos of this, so she may like to participate.

It's all in the anticipation.

2008-02-10T16:17:00.000+11:00

This time last week I was at a party for a significant '0' birthday for my ex-wife. I was aware that as the time approached I was becoming quite anxious about going. Many of the people who were going to be there, I had not seen since we separated. Her family would also be there en masse. Many of her friends (and her family) are fairly conservative Christian folk, so I guess I was wary as to how I would be greeted. I need not have been however, as everyone was very welcoming. The hardest part was arriving, after that it was fine. I was quite moved when late in the afternoon my ex-wife commented on how well I was doing and that she thought I was quite brave in coming. Another couple who were there who have remained close friends of both of ours also commented on how brave I was. It was nice to have it acknowledged that it was not an easy thing to go to, even if it did turn out that the hardest part was just arriving.

It's good to be reminded that for some things, the anticipation is harder than the actual event.

Bigger than...?

2008-02-06T22:47:00.000+11:00

Over the summer I watched the movie, Ben Hur.

It got me thinking. What was the equivalent phrase to 'Bigger than Ben Hur' prior to 1959?

Any ideas?

Cricket, cricket, cricket and cricket!

2008-02-06T22:29:00.000+11:00

..hhhhmmmm...... 7 January.....that was a long time ago!

No I haven't disappeared totally, just been on holiday and slowly getting back into routine.

My holiday was a sporting one. Son and I went to the Australian Open one day and watched many hours of it on TV. We also went to Adelaide to the 4th Test against India. I think I have mentioned that I can engage with tennis, however struggle with cricket. Son and I have a project to visit all the cricket grounds in Australia. So far we have been to Melbourne, Sydney, by fluke Darwin when we were there at the same time as an international game a few years ago, and now Adelaide. This year the timetable seems to be different in that the one day game series is starting in February, ie. after the school holidays. This meant that if we were to go to an interstate game, it had to be a test match. This was my first test match. It was four long and hot days! The Adelaide Oval, whilst a lovely one, is sorely lacking in shade for the unreserved areas. Even when the temperature was in the 20's, the sun was still hot, especially after 6 hours! We went through a tub of sunscreen and litres of water. The third day was the worst as it was the hottest and the most crowded. I was definitely over people by then!

I also struggled to find a coffee made the way I like it. Long macchiatos are the coffee of choice for me. After the second one I ordered came out as basically a latte, I decided to stick with the safe long black with milk on the side. After that I was happy.

I'm complaining too much here, for it was a good holiday, and son enjoyed it. Next time, I will try and organise it around a one day game however!

Lady Chatterley's Lover

2008-01-07T14:54:00.000+11:00

I've just finished reading DH Lawrence's most controversial book. Synchronous to this, last night I watched The Chatterley Affair on the ABC. It was a fictional account of the court hearing to determine whether or not Lady Chatterley's Lover could be published in England. It was a very clever piece, with the story of the book being played out by two of the jurors. Keith, a working class man, has an affair with Helena, a middle class divorcee. For a couple of weeks they explore the depths of physical sensuality and sexuality, knowing it is something they cannot have perpetually. Keith is married and his wife is pregnant. You get the impression that this is a metamorphosis for Keith. He knows there are things he doesn't know, experiences he hasn't experienced, but doesn't quite know how these might be manifest. Helena is more worldly wise than Keith and, one suspects, has had more experience of the fullness that life has to offer, but knows that it is transient and one must make the most of every opportunity when that fullness of life comes knocking at your door. Their affair lasts only the length of the trial and then Keith goes back to his wife and Helena, we learn, does end up marrying someone else.

For me, Lady Chatterley's Lover was, among other things, a story about two people who did not let the constraints that the circumstance of life had placed them in do exactly that, constrain them so as not to experience all that life has to offer them. To experience all that life was offering them, they had to allow themselves to be the person they were, regardless of the class, time and gender they found themselves in.

I got to thinking about my own life. When I came out as a gay man in my early 30s, many people commented on how brave I was to do such a thing. I guess they thought being married with a child made it that much more a courageous act. I certainly didn't feel brave. For me, it had got to the point where I felt I had no choice but to do this. I had been struggling with this for a while, so long that there was only one option left for me. Yes, I could have gone on as I was, but there would have been a kind of death (not literally) for me that would have meant life would have been a sort of vacuum. I know in reality this didn't have to be the case, but that is how I felt at the time and for a while after. I would have felt much braver coming out at an earlier age, before I had commenced down a path that I felt was expected of me, to have said no to those external (and internalised) expectations and tried being truer to myself, and hence, others.

I would like to live a braver life and be truer to myself, regardless of what others might think.

Sounds of silence

2008-01-04T18:10:00.000+11:00

Today I was reminded about how much peripheral noise we put up with in our lives. I work in an old converted church building that has a large air-conditioning unit. It goes on about 8.00am and goes off about 5.30pm, so unless you are there early or late, it is a constant presence and one that is taken for granted. We have been having some problems with it lately (which is not good in high 30's and low 40's Celsius temperatures!). Today it was being worked on and was turned off during the day. It was only when it was off that you realise the level of noise it creates. There was a stillness, even in an office full of workers, when the unit was off.

What else are our senses bombarded with daily that we assimilate into our lives on a sub-conscious level?

Light the Christmas Tree

2007-12-20T22:13:00.000+11:00

Tonight I put up the Christmas Tree. I realised while I was doing it that I haven't put up a tree for the past two years. I felt I should make an effort this year. My parents are coming to my place for lunch on Christmas Day and son will be dropping by in the afternoon. The longest part of putting the tree up was untangling the lights.

This reminded me of putting up our tree when I was a child. Every year we would spend what seemed like hours trying to work out which bulb in the set of lights had blown and therefore preventing all the lights to work. We had a beautiful set of hand painted lights on our tree. One year however, it all got too frustrating and we bought a new modern set that meant we wouldn't have to go through that rigmarole again. I miss those lights (we threw them out!). Simple as the new ones were, they were very boring. And frustrating as it was each year, that was part of the family ritual at Christmas.

Perhaps I'm missing some Christmas ritual.

The Greed of Christmas

2007-12-19T22:06:00.000+11:00

We had our Christmas lunch at work today. It's a variation on the traditional Kris Kringle. Some of you may know it as I have heard of other places that do it. Everybody brings a wrapped gift within the agreed price range. Everyone is given a number between one and the highest number of people that are present (pardon the pun). Number one chooses any wrapped gift from the pile. They unwrap it in front of everyone for all to see. Number two has a choice of choosing another wrapped gift from the pile, or if they really like what number one has unwrapped they can 'steal' that gift from them. Number one then has to choose another wrapped gift from the pile. Number three then has the choice of a wrapped gift or one of the gifts already unwrapped.....and so it goes on. You can see from this that the higher the number you have, the more choice you have. If someone has their gift 'stolen' from them, they can only choose from a wrapped gift, they are not allowed to 'steal' another gift.

Now this can either be great fun, or it can fall flat. It being great fun relies on people putting niceness aside and taking what they really want. It's a time of putting aside hierarchy in the organisation. People have to know they can take from their supervisor, or even the manager, without any ramifications (and hey....we're talking $10 - $15 gifts, so it's not as though an Ipod is at stake!). Some people find this a difficult concept. There are those who always take from the pile. There are those who will do a perusal of the opened gifts to put on a show, but you know they will always return to the pile to take an unwrapped gift. There tends to be a few favourite gifts that constantly change hands. They are usually funny or useful gifts. There are also some staff who seem to have their gifts 'stolen' 3 or 4 times!

It was fun today. We ended up with 44 people there. This included many volunteers who come. I always reckon it's a good sign when relatively new staff feel confident enough to 'steal'. Also when volunteers, who spend most of their time in client's homes and rarely come into the office, so potentially may not feel as connected to the wider team, feel confident enough to 'steal'. Our manager had her gift stolen three times! There was the odd surprise. As one particular staff member got up to choose a present, I thought, 'M will take from the pile, she's far too nice to 'steal''. But no, she went over to someone else and 'stole' a book entitled Wild Sex! It was a book about the sex lives of animals! I love it when people surprise me.

Questions vs Answers

2007-12-13T22:26:00.000+11:00

I was reading Slow Lane Dan's latest entry and it reminded me of a piece of writing taken from Rainer Maria Rilke's Letters to a Young Poet:

Be patient to all that is unsolved in your heart

Try to love the questions themselves

Do not seek for answers that cannot be given

Because you would not be able to live them

And the point is to live everything

Live the questions now

Perhaps you will then

Gradually

Without knowing it

Live along some distant day

Into the answers

Cycling

2007-12-12T21:57:00.000+11:00

Being inspired by a friend, I've got my old bike out recently and started riding again. I'm covering a different role at work at the moment which means I don't need my car for work, so I've even been riding to work on occasion. The last two weeks I've ridden three out of the five days. It feels good to have the car unused on certain days. I feel like I'm doing something for the environment. I work about 15 minutes from work by car, and I'm finding that it takes me no longer to ride to work. There is either a bike lane on the road, or a bike path between my home and work, so I feel quite safe, despite it being inner city. I'm surprised by the amount of bicycle traffic on the road. Coming home the other night I had to wait to turn right to give way to no less than 10 cyclists on the road I was turning into. What I really like about riding to work is that I am getting exercise by doing something I have to do, rather than exercising for exercise's sake Ideally I feel that what we do in our day to day lives should provide us with enough exercise. I've always thought this has parallels with spirituality - but that's another blog (perhaps).

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas.......

2007-12-06T23:53:00.000+11:00

Despite the previous post, I’ve been thinking of my response to Christmas. I’ve always had some ambivalence about Christmas. It used to hold more of a religious/spiritual meaning, but that is no longer present for me. This year I seemed to have been able to avoid all the hype leading up to it. Every now and then I am surprised by seeing Christmas decorations around in shops and houses. I’m surprised by my response to it which is quite a strong feeling response. My initial reaction is a positive one, but it’s linked in with memory rather than being based on something current. There’s a realisation now that it is a hollow meaning, it’s only about what it used to be, not what it is now. That tends to flatten the initial positive memory. It’s a feeling of something good that cannot deliver. As you can see my response is still very much in the feeling mode and not at all thought out, hence these ramblings. The time of night I’m typing this might also have something to do with it! So enough ramblings.

The two things I still like about Christmas are carols and the food. Nothing beats Christmas Pudding with Brandy Butter (known to some as Hard Brandy Sauce) whilst watching some Carols By Candlelight.

So what does Christmas mean for you?

Direction?

2007-12-06T23:48:00.000+11:00

I’m interested in where my blogging is going at the moment. I have been far from prolific (to state the obvious!). I’m not entirely sure why that is. Life is going along really well at present in terms of family, matters of the heart, work directions etc. I feel that my blog has become a bit of a ‘what I’ve been doing diary’, which I tend to think must be quite a boring read. I haven’t been doing as much of the ‘thought/feeling exploration’ as I have in the past. I’m interested in why this is. Maybe it’s to do with the feelings and thoughts I’ve been exploring lately and not wanting to put them ‘out there’. Maybe I’ve become too insular to explore wider things or to engage with day to day experiences in a way that links them with the bigger picture of life. Maybe I’m trying too hard. Maybe my blogging is just coming to a natural conclusion.
So many maybes! Perhaps I ought to not worry about it and let whatever happen happen (take a chill pill, to quote son!).

To carry on with the diary aspect of this site for anyone who may be interested, so tennis grand final is tomorrow night. Yes we are playing the same team that we had the altercation with a couple of weeks ago, so it should be an interesting experience. Choosing the final team turned out to be not too bad an experience, with only one girl quite upset – and her father. Whatever decision I was going to make someone wasn’t going to be pleased for various reasons. I am proud of son, who was one of those not playing, in the way he took that news. Anyway I have to say I’m pleased it will be the end of the season after Friday night and I can have a break from it for a while. That will leave only cricket to focus on during the weekend!

Sporting Parents Are Soooooooo Ugly.............

2007-11-23T22:55:00.000+11:00

.....and I don't mean physically, although some are much more pleasing on the eye than others.
Tonight we had the first tennis final for son's tennis. During the season you have to play players in the same order each game. For example, with five girls in the team, you rank them all and of the three that play, the highest ranked has to play No 1 the second highest No 2 and the third No 3. My understanding was that that didn't have to be the case during the finals. I was sure that I had checked that out during the season. So based on stats during the season I played a girl who would normally have played No 2 during the season, as No 1 (I hope you're keeping up with this!). A short time into the game a mother from the other side came up to me and asked if I realised I was playing the girls out of order. This resulted in three people on their mobiles to various association gurus to determine the rules about this. It was determined that I had done the wrong thing, so then came the decision about what to do. Do we stop the games and start again, do they make us forfeit, or do we just keep going, keep things in perspective (ie. this is kids tennis, not Wimbledon, and no money involved!). It was decided to keep things going - although the opposition was divided on this. The opposition team manager was a really nice, easy going bloke. He was happy to let it pass, but other parents weren't so happy. At one point he said to me 'We seem to be the only two calm parents here'. I don't know that I was that calm, but certainly wasn't treating it like the end of the world as we know it! Unfortunately it got a bit nasty on both sides. We ended up losing (it wasn't an elimination final, so we get a second chance), but they still wanted to put in a protest (the poor team manager was very embarrassed).
If we win next week, we will end up meeting this team again in the Grand Final. It will make for a VERY unpleasant final.

I have to say the future of our society doesn't hold much hope with the example they have!

Why do people get so affected by sport, especially parents?!?! (Don't worry, that was a rhetorical question - I know it's all around projection issues!)

Bugs, Bugs, Bugs

2007-11-16T22:49:00.000+11:00

Today reached the low 30's (celsius) here in Melbourne. That's pretty high for mid November. Tonight at son's tennis it was a balmy evening. With daylight saving we didn't have to put the lights on until soon after 8.00pm. Once they were on however, it was like an invitation to a bug party. They came in their thousands. All sorts of bugs, from little mosquito types to larger cockroach types. They were hovering under the lights and also all over the courts. The kids had to ensure they kept their mouths closed while they played. It was like being in a Hitchcock movie.
Tonight was the last of the home and away matches. We're in the finals which start next week. One of the more difficult aspects of being team manager is that I have to decided who plays in the finals. We need three girls and three boys to play. I have four boys and five girls to choose from. Therefore three kids are going to miss out. They are all pretty even in ability, so there aren't obvious kids to leave out. I'm too soft to find it easy to tell kids they aren't playing in the finals! I don't know how I'm going to decide, and then tell them! I've got less than a week to do the deed! I hate this part of the job!
Thanks to those who have been enquiring about my shoulder/neck pain. Much better now. The semester is over which is great. Last Monday was my first day of no Uni or other responsibilities. I had a lovely day. I could get used to part time work and no study. Although the bank balance may object!

A Pain In The Neck

2007-10-26T22:52:00.000+10:00

Over the last couple of days I have developed a pain in my neck, radiating from my right shoulder. It is too much time at the computer studying and perusing the big wide world on the web. Actually it's not enough time studying and too much time perusing! This morning it was quite bad, so much so that I resorted to some medication. While I was out and about today I dropped in on a Chinese massage place in a shopping centre. These places seem to be becoming quite popular here in Melbourne, where you can pop in unannounced and have everything from a five minute neck massage to a full body massage. I asked for a twenty minute neck and shoulder massage. It was pure and utter HELL. It was AGONY. It almost got to the point where I had to ask him to stop. I did come out feeling less tight, but the pain was still present in my neck. I might have to have more concentrated therapy. I have moved my computer mouse to my left which I do from time to time. They say that is good for the brain as well as the body.

I finish study for the year in a few days time. I also need to spend less time perusing.

Attend the Tale.....

2007-10-25T21:01:00.000+10:00

.....of Sweeney Todd. This is Johhny Depp's latest film due out early next year. He plays these sort of roles so well don't you think? A perfect match with Helen Bonham Carter in such a setting. After whilstling a happy tune all week I'm now swinging my razor wide. Those around me had better be careful!
I really need to learn how to upload videos on to this blog. May have to call upon a learned friend for assistance. Call now made and video now uploaded!! I'm impressed.....I hope you all are.

Toad
Uploaded by IMLX

Shameless

2007-10-19T23:00:00.000+10:00

This is a British TV programme set in working class Manchester. It revolves around a family called the Gallaghers. The patriarch is the perpetually inebriated Frank. He has six kids who are basically brought up by his eldest daughter as his wife ran off with another woman. It has quickly become a favourite of mine and when it was on here I used to dissect it with a work colleague the following morning. This particular colleague ended up getting the first three series on DVD and leant them to me. I find the show hilarious as well as frequently poignant. I think part of the attraction is that it is so different from my middle class experience of life. I find it alluring and at the same time scary. Initially I thought of it as hyperbole, but I think that it is probably reality for many people in various places around the world.
Having borrowed the DVDs, I didn't want to have them for too long, so I have been immersing myself in them for the past couple of weeks. That in itself has been an interesting experience, to watch so much of a particular show (about 30 hours worth) in such a short period. It has been good to catch up on some episodes that I missed and have some of the missing links explained.
Apparently series 4 & 5 are also now on air in the UK. Well worth a look.

An Actress To Remember

2007-10-19T06:50:00.000+10:00

I woke up this morning to hear of the death of Deborah Kerr. She was the star of such films as From Here To Eternity, The King And I, and An Affair To Remember. I was saddened to hear of her death. This surprised me and I wonder why. I enjoyed the films she was in. She could always get me to 'whistle a happy tune'! In many ways her death is part of the death of an era. The actors and actresses of the 40s and 50s, and perhaps even 60s, had a different style to today's stars. (OMG I just realise how OLD that makes me sound!) Will we remember Sharon Stone, Johnny Depp and Kate Winslett in the same way?...........OK, so we may well remember Johhny Depp!

Sport, Sport, Sport.

2007-10-12T23:22:00.000+10:00

We're just past mid-way of son's tennis season. The benefit of Friday night tennis is that we don't have to choose between tennis and cricket for that couple of months when they overlap. Cricket starts tomorrow. What joy! What bliss! Can you taste the sarcasm?! Tennis I can actually quite enjoy, cricket is more of a struggle.
Tonight, at tennis, a couple of sisters joined us after being overseas for a couple of months. I hadn't met them before. I placed them together in the girls doubles. They asked me not to do that again as they don't play well together because they fight all the time. The classic line of the night: One said to me, "She annoys me and she thinks I annoy her!" The joy of teenage girls!

A Matter of Quality

2007-10-11T19:59:00.000+10:00

Today and yesterday we had surveyors come through our workplace as part of our accreditation process. The system we use has something significant happen each year, but every four years is the major survey, where every aspect of what we do is scrutinised. We've had two surveyors over two days. Being a small organization, everyone is involved in some way. There has been heightened anxiety over the past few weeks. As a generalisation we know we do a good job, but there is still some anxiety in making sure we have the evidence to prove this.
We passed with flying colours, although there is always room for improvement. It was a positive experience for us. Two years ago, when we had our mid –cycle survey, the two surveyors we had were very business like and not particularly effusive. Working in health care, palliative care in particular, we can be (a bit too?) warm and fuzzy and like to be treated in similar fashion. So some staff found that process to be a negative one. So today, whilst being given areas for improvement, we were also praised for the many areas in which we are doing well. For some staff it was a healing experience.(!) (See what I mean about the warm and fuzzy!!?!)
In theory we should have our systems and processes all in order so that surveyors could come in at any time and be satisfied with what we do, without the mad dash to have all our i’s dotted and t’s crossed in the weeks prior to their visit.
It never seems to work that way however!

Father-Son Relationships

2007-10-08T20:16:00.000+10:00

Son arrived home this morning. He had a great time. We learnt a bit today of his time away, but as is his wont, information will come out in the days and weeks to come,. I have a feeling quite a few sentences will begin with “In America they……”. I’ve had a full couple of weeks, with mostly good things, but I have missed having him around.
I was over at my parents yesterday. I have mixed feelings about being with my parents. I like spending time with them because they’re getting older and who knows how long they will be here. When I do spend time with them however, it is highlighted for me how little they know of my life and how close we’re not. I know this is as much my doing as theirs. I grew up feeling that my parents didn’t listen to me and so I slowly withdrew. They’re now at that time in their lives when they are more able to listen (and have been for a while), but over the years I’ve withdraw so far from them that I don’t know how to let them know something of what’s going on in my life (and I’m not just talking of what I had for breakfast and the latest movie I’ve seen). I feel that if I did open up to them there is nearly 30 years of catching up that would be needed to occur.
I feel particularly distant from my father. I think part of that is because there is nothing we ‘do’ together. When I’m over there I help Mum in the garden, something that Dad isn’t into at all. So because I can’t ‘do’ anything with Dad, it makes ‘being’ with him difficult when there is little of any consequence that passes between us.
I used to be arrogant enough to think that I would have the ‘perfect’ relationship with my son, that we would have flawless communication and a ‘smooth’ relationship. I’ve gained enough wisdom to know that that won’t be the case. The difference I hope for in my adult-adult relationship with him over the relationship I have with my own parents is that he will be able to talk with me not only about what’s going on for him in his life, but also that we would be able to talk about our experience of him growing up, from his perspective as a child and from mine as a parent.
Learning from experience, that sort of adult-adult relationship requires open communication in the adult-child relationship. I’m hopeful for an ongoing positive relationship with my son.

The Rose Boys

2007-09-22T17:32:00.000+10:00

I was reading a post over on Nash's blog which reminded me of an incident with another nowhere near as famous person as Rick Springfield's mother. A few years ago I read the book 'The Rose Boys'. For those outside Melbourne and even for those non footy minded people in Melbourne, the Rose family is a famous Collingwood football family. Bob Rose and his 4 brothers all played for Collingwood in the 1940s and 50s, and Bob went on to coach Collingwood in the 60s, 70s and 80s. He and his wife, Elsie, had two boys. Robert followed in the family's sporting tradition and became an exceptional footballer and cricketer. Peter followed a different path and became a poet and publisher. Peter is the author of 'The Rose Boys'. To precis the book very simply and without giving it justice, it revolves around Robert's car accident at the age of 22 years, his subsequent quadriplegia and then death at the age of 47 years. It is a story written with great honesty and richness. I read most of it while I was away on holidays, staying with some friends. I came to the last chapter one night and whilst I really wanted to finish it, I had a sense that I would be so affected that I knew I wouldn't be able to go straight to sleep but would need to respond in some active way, if only to walk around the house. Not being in my own home, I didn't feel comfortable doing that, so didn't finish it for a couple of days until I knew I had the safety to respond in whatever way I needed to.
Anyway.....on to the incident.....I lent the book to my friend and work colleague, Louise. Louise was going to a shopping centre one day that she doesn't normally frequent. She took the book as she thought she may have some time to read it over a cup of coffee, which she did. She soon became aware of a woman standing next to her. She looked up at her and the woman said, "I'm sorry to bother you, but that's my son". Louise was a bit taken aback and just responded with "Oh..... Elsie" as if she was an old friend! They only had a short interaction as Elsie was with a group of friends and she returned to them. As Louise was leaving she asked Elsie if she would sign the book, to which Elsie agreed. She opened up the book and said to Louise, "Louise, this has Campbell written inside." "Oh.....yes.....could you write it to Campbell and Louise!?" So I have inscribed in my book, "To Louise and Campbell, Best Wishes, Elsie Rose".
I love this story. I often wonder what it was that made Elsie make herself known to Louise that day. One of the themes in the book is the struggle Elsie had with such sporting fame and the effect it had on her family. What made her identify herself as a Rose that day, when she had longed for anonymity for so many years. And when she said "That is my son" was she referring to Robert or to Peter?
Questions that will never be answered. A bit like life really!

Up, Up and Away

2007-09-22T17:00:00.001+10:00

This morning we saw son off. He has gone to a tennis camp at the Bolliterri Tennis Academy in Florida. He will be gone for two weeks. Most of the time is spent at the academy with a three day stop over in LA on the way home. It will be a great experience for him. He is going with a group of 13 kids and 3 coaches. There was some emotion at the airport, mainly from the parents, but also some from the kids. I have to say I didn't feel that emotional. I guess being a 'share care' parent, I'm used to not having him with me for periods of time, especially when he goes away with his Mum on holiday. I do have this low level anxiety about him being on the other side of the world however. I'm not concerned about him being at the academy. It will be so structured and his days so full. I am slightly anxious however, about the days in LA. He's basically a sensible kid, but sometimes can get a bit silly in certain groups. There's some saying about the whole being greater than the sum of the parts. I think that can apply to kids in terms of their sensibilities. Now that he's gone I don't feel so anxious. I guess I know there's nothing I can do but trust the universe that he will be safe and have a great time.
I don't think I nagged him too much. I just told him to ensure he wrote to his grandparents!

Cancelled

2007-09-17T23:15:00.001+10:00

"You don't do much work with this nursing thing do you Dad", is the first thing son says to me when I unexpectedly picked him up from school today, just because I could, due to having an extra day at home. It pleases me that my son can have a respectful joke at my expense. It's not something that I would have had the confidence to do with my Dad at the same age.
We received notification this afternoon that the rest of the week of placement has been cancelled and we will do it next week instead. We received a very matter of fact email to this effect. It's not particularly matter of fact for me as I now have to negotiate with my employer to have next week off as annual leave, either as well as this week, or instead of. I'm fortunate to have a very understanding and flexible employer, but I don't want to take anything for granted.
This study thing continues to be anything but simple!

An Extra Day At Home

2007-09-17T08:35:00.000+10:00

I've just got in from my placement at 8.30am. No I haven't been doing nightshift. I was up soon after 5am ., out the door at 6am to be ready to start at 7am. Got in to find that our clinical educator is sick. We're not allowed to be on the ward without her being present, so we had to go home. We got to go home early last Friday as she was sick. There has been an outbreak of gastro at the hospital I'm doing the placement at, with many patients and staff affected. I'm not sure if that is what she has. I'm convinced she's in the early stages of pregnancy, so she might just be feeling a bit queasy and not wanting to make things worse by being in a gastro infested environment. On Friday there were two other students who were off sick. Another student went home early because she was hit on by an agency nurse. He convinced her to give him her phone number which she regretted, so after discussion with the clinical educator she went home. So we're all waiting to find out if the clinical educator will be in for the rest of the week, and if not what will happen to our placement and whether or not we will have to make up the time later on.
So I have an unplanned day at home. I don't want to waste it. I felt I wasted yesterday. I was feeling a bit flat and unmotivated. I don't want to get to the end of today and feel I've wasted it. I'll start off by resisting the temptation to go back to bed!

Is it that time already?

2007-09-14T22:08:00.000+10:00

Well it's the end of my first week of placement and so far it's gone quite well. It has involved shift work which has involved getting used to starting the day at different times and being disciplined about getting to bed early if I'm on an early the following day. An early requires a 5am. start. I normally start the day waking to the radio. I find it a more gentle way to begin the day than with a piercing alarm. I do occasionally sleep for a while once the radio comes on, so to be sure I do wake up in time, I've been using my mobile as an extra alarm, coming on at 5:10am. The other morning the phone alarm went off without the radio having come on. Whilst surprised I hadn't turned the radio alarm on the previous night, I got up feeling like I could do with some extra shut eye. I had left the kitchen in a bit of a state the previous night, so thought I would do some dishes before hopping in the shower. So with hands in the water I work out how long I can afford to do these dishes and still have time for shower and brekkie and be out the door in time to catch the necessary tram. I'm looking at the microwave clock thinking I can afford to do the dishes until 5.30 and it's now 5.23. Plenty of time. For a while I'm just staring at the microwave with that thought that intuitively I know something is wrong, but my brain isn't quite functioning well enough yet to work out exactly what it is. I then realise the microwave clock doesn't say 5.23, but says 11.23. Hhmmmm, why is it stopped at 11 minutes and 23 seconds? I must have stopped it cooking mid stream and not cancelled it. I check....no, that's not it. Hhmmmm..... that must mean that the clock is actually saying it's 11.23. I walk into the living room..... the clock says 11.25.....I walk into the bedroom....the clock says 11.24 (note to self: synchronize all the clocks in the place). It's beginning to dawn on me that it's not the morning! It then dawns on me that it wasn't the alarm going off on my mobile, it was either a call (which I obviously rejected!) or a text. It was a text. (Another note to self: see if I can use my mobile as an alarm but have the ring call on silent).
Oh well, at least I got the dishes done and got to have more sleep.

Lost and Found......or not

2007-09-04T22:55:00.000+10:00

I seem to have been fairly busy lately. I'm bang in the middle of semester when assessment items are due. I am coping although I'm aware that I'm misplacing things at too regular a rate, which is probably an indication of something. The other week I lost/misplaced three things.
First thing I misplaced was my Ipod. It was missing for a few days and I was convinced that I had lost it, but then found it under my bed!!
The next thing I misplaced was a Police check I'm required to produce before beginning my clinical placement which I'm commencing next week. I had a few frantic hours of searching, convinced I had lost it and wondering how long it would take to procure a new one, before finding it in a pile of papers I had already searched through half a dozen times!
The next thing I misplaced, which actually proved to be lost, was my wallet. Yes my wallet, with not much cash (that I can remember) but all the cards that I need to survive in life! I searched high and low for it and thought that I might find it once I cancelled my bank cards, but no, it is well and truly lost! My student card was in there too, so I had to replace that. I knew it would cost me, but was more than taken aback when told it would be $60 for a new one. I had no choice but to get one.
I'm hoping that the old adage of things coming in threes is correct and that will be all that I 'misplace'. Probably if I was more organised this wouldn't happen to me.
In the whole scheme of things it is no more than an annoyance. It's important to keep things in perspective.
So I begin a two week clinical placement next week which I'm really looking forward to. This is the first in my course so I'll feel like real student nurse once I work with real patients.
Sorry, this seems like such a boring entry, but just wanted to let you know I'm still here.

Growing Up

2007-08-17T22:26:00.000+10:00

"Gran thought I was you!" said son with more than a hint of pride in his voice after he answered the phone to his Grandmother the other night. Yep, that voice is broken, and without the shattering squeaks of high and low that often accompany the breaking. I remember my voice broke in the same way. I was older than son (do tend to be a bit behind in these matters!) but it basically went straight from boy soprano to bass without any coloratura intervals to embarrass me.
I also remember feeling quite chuffed when I answered the phone and people would say 'Hello John, how are you?' I would quite happily tell them I would get my Dad for them. They got a very different response from when I used to have to say I would get Mum after being mistaken for her!!
The joys of growing up!